Living a life with bipolar has taught me many things. It’s gotten me into a lot of trouble within the past years of my life before I found a successful treatment that workw. I’ve been addicted and recovered from alcohol and pills. I’ve tried to fight off both addictions by my own hands.
I’ve tried to fight against my unpredictable mood swings from severe suicidal depressions to psychotic manias, I’ve hospitalized at least eight times; always telling myself, “I can do this.” Only to realize I couldn’t.
But if there is one thing that stands out from what my bipolar has taught me it’s, Powerlessness.
We all face hateful destinations that we are powerless to escape.
This is true of individuals, and it’s certainly true of organizations.
The first step is admitting powerlessness. It’s big and scary and feels a lot like giving up, but it is terrifically good news, and ultimately—ironically—it’s the only way to escape despair.
Admitting powerlessness is anything but adopting passivity. It’s been said that evangelicals are not saved by grace, they’re paralyzed by it. All too often life is squandered on a silly passivity that indolently waits for God to zap the problem to make things better.
This isn’t faith. This is magic. It is also the complete abdication of both our humanity and confession of the reality of God. God offers us communion—and equal sharing and ownership—of our life and his. His is our strong tower, our place of refuge. But he is not our cop-put.
Thank him for that, because so long as you experience the pain and slog your way through the healing, which happens under his protection, you afforded life and reality and can finally be done with the false constructs of deeply held neuroses.
What was new to me years back was that powerlessness is not the same thing as failure, or at least failure is not the same thing as shame.
We can sharpen our minds, and we have wisdom that and guide our wills. We have been given a certain influence in those areas. But communion with the father does out flow from the outside in, whatever inspirational or toxic influences reaches us that way. No matter haw brave we may attempt to live otherwise, communion with the Father happens from our hearts, whether we are powerless apart from the shared life of God.
You are powerless.
But it’s okay; your Father is with you.