An open letter to those contemplating suicide


Suicide has touched me in many different ways.
I lost a good friend on my high school graduation night to suicide. Because of his suicide another friend of ours attempted suicide but instead survived. Another good friend of mine committed suicide some years later. After high school a friend took his own life by pointing the pistol up into his mouth. We never could get the walls and ceiling clean enough. Once while in the hospital I had breakfast with a gentleman who kept bragging how good it was to be alive. He left the table and went and hung himself in the bathroom. In 2009 I attempted suicide and survived. I’ve come to know a lot about suicide.
This is a letter to everyone who feels like the only way out of their depression is suicide. It mirrors the thoughts and feelings of concerned loved ones around the world:
My friends and family, I want you to come to me for help. You know who I am and you have known me for quite some time. I hope you will trust me and let me help you. I know suicide.
Tell me your thoughts of suicide. You might feel very nervous, scared, anxious and even overly excited when you talk to me about this epidemic. When I ask you if you are thinking of suicide, I will try to help you feel safe. You know you have been safe before in my presence and you know that you can trust me.
I will never nor have I ever judged you or your life. I am here to listen to you. If you want questions asked, I can do that too. But I’m not here as a police officer; I will never interrogate you. I will never overwhelm you with conversation. When you say enough talking, it means enough talking.
I never panic. I will listen gently as you tell me your story. I want you to talk to me in your own words. There is no right way or wrong way to tell your story. There is only your way: you telling your story like you want to, in your own words and at your own pace.
Suicide might tell you not to tell me. Suicide will try and make you believe that you don’t know me, that we haven’t been friends, that you have never trusted me in the past, that we have never helped one another out. Suicide will try to frame me and make me look like your enemy.
Suicide, we both know, lies. Suicide might tell you that nobody could possibly help you and that dying is the only way to end your pain and your suffering. Suicide might even tell you that you are a bad person. It will tell you everything that you have ever done wrong, that you are defective and that you are undeserving of living a proud and happy life that satisfies you. Suicide will tell you that you are undeserving of family, friends, love, hope, a miracle or compassion.
We both know this isn’t true.
This is Satan at his best. He tries to possess you so you don’t talk to me, so you won’t trust me, so you won’t believe in me, and so you won’t want to talk with me about what is going on in your life.
Please tell me. I cannot help you fight the enemy if you do not tell me about the enemy. This enemy is trying to kill you. The enemy is tremendously lying to you. Do not trust your suicidal thoughts. Your enemy is trying to make a permanent mark on your life for short-falls that are only temporary.
Your suicidal thoughts are not rational. They are a symptom, a sign and a cry from inside. Something inside of you is in desperate need for healing.
Suicide plays tricks with the truth. Suicide is only telling you the truth that makes you want to die. Suicide is hiding the honesty that makes you want to live: the pieces of hope; the strength that you have inside you; the laughter you give to others; the love and the care that you posses; the good natured heart you have always had.
You have pieces of hope, pathways to healing and the possibility to do anything you want with your life. So, tell me, please. Or tell somebody else. I am only one of the many people who can help you. But nobody can help you if you remain silent about your problems and or try to take on this evil enemy by yourself.
Remember that dying does not take away your pain and suffering; instead, it passes that pain and suffering onto everyone else you have touched in your life!
One day you will thank yourself, too. For telling. For surviving. For healing, not killing.


8 thoughts on “An open letter to those contemplating suicide

  1. I loved reading this. It’s as if you know me so well. I wish I had someone I could reach out and talk to who understands. Thank you for sharing.

  2. The dark thoughts are always lingering in the back of mind. Sometimes I can occupy my mind and at other times I have to try hard to block them out. Thanks for sharing and let I and other’s know that we are not alone in the fight. I lost a friend two weeks ago to suicide. And I beat myself up for not seeing the red flags but, yet we hide those so well.

  3. I am 16. I have contemplated many times. I have attempted once, and have had the letters in a bucket in my closet for 4 years. I have lost 2 friends to scuicide, and several others contemplate it everyday. I have been on teams that prevent scuicide, going to conferences on how to help others through it. I have talked many people throught it and down from it, and never believed a word of it for myself. Thank you for reminding me that there’s something to fight for. If for nothing else, to be a friend for those who need it.

  4. I have been thinking more and more about suicide. I don’t want to hurt my family and close friends, so I haven’t done anything. But I have prayed so many times that God would just take me…clearly, he hasn’t. Maybe there is a reason why I am still, here, perhaps I have a purpose, but I am just so tired of all the mental and emotional pain. I have contemplated telling my best friend, but I am afraid that the burden will be too much to put on someone. And that after telling her, it will change our relationship. I am middle-aged, and have been dealing with these feelings for some time. I just am tired of feeling so empty and alone.

  5. I’m turning 15 in a month, and I’ve been contemplating suicide for a long time. I planed it once it was right after my 13th birthday, my friend found out and stopped me, latter that year she killed herself. Ever since then I’ve wanted to die and I’ve tried to kill myself, but people always say that I’m only doing it for attention. That statement ” you are only trting to kill your self for attention” makes me want to kill myself even more.

  6. My 44 year old daughter took her own life 8 weeks ago. We had no idea this was something she thought of. I have always thought suicide was a final solution to a temporary problem and a very selfish act. And I still feel that way maybe even more. There is help out there all you have to do is ask. She left two beautiful children behind that will grow up without a mother and they will NEVER get over it. The pain she has left her family in is indescribable and we are left to carry unanswered questions and a physical pain forever, when all she had to do was ask for help. If these are your thoughts get help!!!! Keep asking till you get help

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s